krebscycle

Hippie punching is fun, good exercise, and good for the environment, but it can be confusing unless you follow a few common sense rules. The first is to understand that hippie punching does not involve hurting these kinds of people or any kind of physical violence at all. G_d forbid. These hippies look perfectly nice. These are not the kind of hippies we mean. Nope. And not these kinds either – certainly not the kid with the flowers.

   No, by “hippies” we mean middle aged bloggers with a well developed sense of self-importance – like these guys below.

Now you may balk at this – you may ask, “where’s the bus with the flowers on it?”, “who has the blotter?”, “where are my bongos?”. But please, some patience. Let’s also get the other thing out of the way, by “punch” we don’t mean to hit or strike or beat or any of that stuff. For this game “punch” means, disparage or slight the galactic size yet strangely delicate egos of the “hippies”. It’s not hard: try saying this one

You hippies are petulant, dimwitted, dweebs who are so desperate to get on TV you are willing to do anything!

POW! How does that feel? Go ahead, take a deep breath champ. You did it. Let’s try another one

It’s fucking retarded to attack moderate Democrats if your only alternative is an insane right wing Republican Teahadist.

Good. Let’s try a longer one.

You hippies are willing to say things that are demeaning even about yourselves, like comparing yourself to a girl whose boyfriend will have sex with her underneath the bleachers but won’t be seen with her in public. What’s wrong with you people?

[ Yes that really happened:

That tension burst out into the open when Madrak directly asked Axelrod: “Have you ever heard of hippie punching?” That prompted a long silence from Axelrod.

“You want us to help you, the first thing I would suggest is enough of the hippie punching,” Madrak added. “We’re the girl you’ll take under the bleachers but you won’t be seen with in the light of day.”

]

BLAM! Kapow! Ok, that’s it. You’re ready for the big time.